Sexual Trauma and Your Fucked up Money Beliefs
Sexual Trauma and Your Fucked up Money Beliefs.
(potentially triggering post)
What do they have to do with each other?
More than one might think.
Now to be clear, sexual trauma is not just straight up black and white trauma.
Sexual trauma can be from any time you let in a partner your soul didn’t say 100% YES to.
Any partner you gave in to just to feel loved, just to feel validated.
Any time you said “yes” and truly didn’t deep down mean it, you didn’t feel heard, you didn’t feel seen, you didn’t feel held. You didn’t feel the divine connection that ultimately our souls crave from sex. You felt like it was just what you were “suppose to do” in the moment.
Even with someone we love and have an awesome relationship with.. If it’s not felt as unconditional love and acceptance, our bodies can interpret that as being violated and can store certain experiences as trauma.
And so this can apply to anyone (probably most, unless you just hopped out of the womb as an enlightened being, and if so, then maybe you should be writing this post instead but anyways, lets carry on.)
Your sacral chakra is the center of your sexuality and creativity.
It has to do with all things relationships, pleasure, emotions, ya know, the good stuff.
Which also makes it a good place for all of our shitty undealt with shit to be stored.
The past year I’ve been led to do deep healing work on a conscious and subconscious level.
And while doing some sacral chakra healing, this wound I discovered was something so unconscious, so deep, that if you would have told me I had this stored inside me, I would have laughed it off and thought you were some hippie dippie weirdo.
Now I know this is a collective wound because I couldn’t necessarily pin point it to any particular situation that happened in my life. On a conscious level, it didn’t make any type of sense.
But I felt it so deep within my being.
A lot of our wounding is like this. And when you clear it from your body, you’re doing work for more than just yourself. You’re ultimately helping to heal the world.
The wound was very clear:
It was this feeling that money was hard.
That it was manipulative.
More so that the masculine was manipulative when it came to money.
Like some dark shadow that dangled it over my head, ultimately controlling how much and when I got to receive it.
I felt my creativity suppressed.
My ideas blocked.
Guilt and shame for my feminine energy, for my sexuality.
This feeling of not being heard, felt or seen, used and taken advantage of in a way.
Earning an abundance of money from my creative gifts didn’t even register as possible.
There was this heavy unconscious belief that if I didn’t behave a certain way, BE a certain way, please the masculine/authority (whatever that meant), that I didn’t get what I needed financially. That I was starved emotionally and was blocked from receiving, from fully feeling how truly delicious life gets to feel.
Deep down I had this unconscious belief that in some way shape or form, in order to get what I desired in these areas of life, in order to even earn money, it had to involve being manipulative or me being manipulated.
Like I was a puppet.
and the masculine was the one with the power.
Manipulating the feminine energy with sex, power, emotions + money.
Sound familiar? lol
This is a collective wounding we all carry to some extent- most subconsciously, maybe for you even consciously. And if that’s you- I have so much love and compassion for you.
We can see it playing out in the world we live in today.
This is a shadow aspect of the masculine that’s been crying out to be healed.
And let me make it clear that when I say masculine, I mean the masculine within us all.
It’s not gender specific.
This is not a jab at men.
Every human has both masculine and feminine energy within them.
Becoming conscious of this belief and releasing it from my body was such a freeing feeling.
I had no idea this pattern was at the core of my wounding and struggles with money, struggles with unleashing my creativity, struggles with being emotionally available in not only intimate relationships but any relationship in general.
Although I was totally unaware of this wound, once I released it, I felt a million times lighter, freer, more ME. I cried and cried for no particular reason other than to purge whatever the eff needed to be purged.
And after, I felt more in my power- around money, my sexuality, my emotions and life in general.
We are powerful creators.
You have gifts that no body else has.
Abundance is your birthright.
Money feeling easy and fun and flowy is available to you.
Feeling heard, seen, held, loved and your emotions acknowledged is normal.
Feeling anything but is not.
I promise you.
Life gets to feel good.
You get to be totally satisfied and fulfilled on all levels.
You are abundant just because you are.
And anything that feels or looks differently than the above, is just wounding that can be cleared.
Your brain can be reprogrammed, thanks neuroplasticity.
It’s nothing to be guilty, ashamed or scared of.
It just needs some light shed on the darkness.
This is just a portion of the work my clients and I dive deep into, 1:1 and in my courses,
because “the better it gets, the better it fucking gets.”
and everything you need is already within you.
All the love,